Parenting

Parenting can be really hard, but it might also be the most rewarding thing you ever do! From The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it says, "Husband and Wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

Some really important things we can do as parents is to:

1. Put the relationship first
2. Communicate for connection
3. Be protective of feelings

There is a model called the Problem-Handling Model, that may be able to help put these three key things into action! 

Problem-Handling Model

"Who owns the problem?" 

                    Parent:                                                                           Child:

                    1. Begin with a polite request                                        1. Suffer the natural consequences

                    2. "I" message                                                        

                    3. Firmer

                    4. Logical consequences 

                                                                                                             Exceptions:

                                                                                                             1. Too Dangerous

                                                                                                             2. Too far off

                                                                                                             3. Where it affects others

Pride                Support                 Encouragement

I love this model, I think it has some pretty neat ideas for when we run into a problem. Just as it states at the top of the model, "Who owns the problem?" I think it is important that we take responsibility of the things we do. I think we should also counsel with our kids about the possible consequences for the rules or requests they didn't abide by. 

Here are eight ways we can give logical consequences:

1. Give the child a choice

• Either/or choice
• When/ the choice

      2. Ask the child to help

      3. Make sure the consequence is logical

      4. Give choices you can live with

      5. Keep your tone firm or calm

      6. Give the choice one time, then act

      7. Expect testing

      8. Allow the child to try again later 

I love this idea of coming up with the consequences with our children, to council with them. It is interesting to think, our Heavenly Father counciled with us in the Pre-Earth life. God, our Heavenly Father, cared about us and our opinion so much, that He wanted us to have a part in the plan. It is because He respects our agency, that He has given us the opportunity to make our own decisions, and "own our problems."            

I am so grateful for my parents! They were by no means perfect, but they always had my best interest in mind! In my family we didn't grow up showing physical affection, but we always knew that we loved each other. Some ways we demonstrated our love was through working side by side each other, helping one another, doing family activities, supporting each other, and sometimes I think we showed our love through our small arguments. I am grateful for the family that I have! I look forward to the many opportunities that will come with my future family!